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Thursday, January 27, 2011

At Least My Hopes and Dreams are Flushing Down the Toilet

      I usually start off with the crazy things my children put me through, but today I would like to recognize my comments. Andrea, Stacey and Miera, thank you so much for your great comments! To hear that wonderful women such as yourselves, can truly appreciate and relate to what I go through really makes this blog worth writing. So I tip my hat to you all. Thank you ladies!
     As far as my crazy girls are concerned, I am happy to report that the casualties for today were kept to a minimum. Thank you Izzy and Lily!
     Although that doesn't mean they did not drive me crazy!

     My husband contributed to my mental exhaustion, apparently he felt I wasn't spread thin enough. Now don't get me wrong, he is actually very helpful. He is a man who does laundry, picks up after the girls, vacuums... He is actually a very good housewife. It is my sanity that he helps destruct.

     He decided to thank the girls for being sick all around the house and in the backseat of the car. To show his appreciation he taught them how to fake vomit! (I am completely serious!)

     Now, thank goodness neither of the girls had vomited all day. So they were well enough to be out of their rooms and were watching tv in the living room with my husband. I was in the kitchen, supervising them, as my husband asked Izzy how she was feeling. "Good, Daddy."
     Apparently at that point, he thought it was free game.

     He thought it would be funny to "fake vomit" on Izzy by pretending to heave on her, saying it was, "payback." Well, she thought it was the funniest thing, so she started doing it back to him. Lily watched the both of them go back and fourth, pretending to vomit on each other (I am now truly convinced that people laugh over the grossest things.) Anyways, Lily watched them go back and fourth and decided, "Hey, that looks like fun, I want to do it too." So Lily joins in, running over to Izzy and my husband "pretending" to vomit on them.
     Great, I lost any interest I had in making or having dinner.

     So, here I am watching the three of them, huddled together, making "pretend" heaving sounds on each other.
     These are the people I live with.
My husband looks over at me and decided it was funny to say, "hey, go get mommy."
Now I have two growths on my legs, pretending to heave on me. All the while, I'm thinking, "what if they accidentally end up hitting the gag reflex." I give my husband "the cold, hard stare", that he loves so very much. It just makes him laugh even harder.

     Now I know why boys are made of frogs and snails and puppy-dogs' tails...

     My house, just like so many are going through a crucial time. Potty Training.

     Just the mention of the words, make full grown adults want to hide in a closet, crying.
It is a horrible time for Lily as much as it is for mommy and daddy. "Lily, you need to go pee-pee on the potty." She smiles, "Okay, mommy." Five minutes later, she pee's herself. "Lily, I just brought you to the potty five minutes ago, why would you pee your pants." She uses the bottom lip move, "I'm sorry mommy." Aw, right? She knows how to hit the mark! Then, on top of the pee pee portion, I will bring her to the bathroom for #2. "Lily, you have to go poops on the potty too." She sits on the porcelain throne for a minute, then states, "mommy I don't have to do poops." Fine, we will try again in five minutes. Two minutes later, she poops her pants. Honestly? Cause I just brought you to the bathroom, why would you do that in your pants.
"Sorry, mommy." Ten minutes later, we do the exercise all over again.
     Now mix that with the catastrophes they usually achieve, cleaning, cooking and writing. Ahh! Then, one day, someone will have the nerve to ask, "why did you have a mental breakdown. I just don't get it."
     Mental note: Do you think when the kids are thirty and still walking around with depends on, they might finally understand...

     I am feeling really good about my book today, the ideas are flowing smoothly. For the longest time, I couldn't figure out a good name for my book, and it finally hit me. It is going to take a bit of rewriting to have it make sense, but I love it!
     You should probably know, I am not a mushy kind of women. I had tried the mushy road and those pages were cut. It's not me. Don't get me wrong, I love the occasional love scene, but life is not entirely made up of love scenes and neither is my novel. I love action, adrenaline. suspense and wittiness. The kind of book that makes you sit on the edge of your seat, unable to stop reading to find out what happens next. See, I get excited just thinking about it.
     So without any further ado, there is a best-selling novel I need to finish.
Page goal for today: 128
Actual pages complete: 131
Goal for tomorrow:135 (we will see.)

1 comment:

  1. I can relate, Angela. How are things going?